Freckleface Strawberry Is Coming For You

She’s packing a message more deadly than lead,Self-acceptance? My God, we’re better off dead!

The latest news: “Julianne Moore Says Her Kids Book Freckleface Strawberry Is Banned in Pentagon-Run Schools”

(Verse 1)
Oh, the Pentagon's trembling, the generals shake,
A freckled-faced menace is raising the stakes!
She’s got a book—oh, Lord, what a sin,
Teaching kids that their skin is okay to be in.

(Chorus)
🔥 Freckleface Strawberry is coming for you! 🔥
She’ll make you feel normal—what will we do?
She’s packing a message more deadly than lead,
Self-acceptance? My God, we’re better off dead!

(Verse 2)
They’ll let war profiteers walk right through the gate,
But a book about freckles? That’s pure deep-state!
Keep your bombs and your guns, but don’t let kids read,
Or they might start thinking their freckles aren’t weeds.

(Chorus)
🔥 Freckleface Strawberry is coming for you! 🔥
She’s armed with self-love, and she’ll break right through!
If kids stop their self-hate, what happens next?
Equality? Freedom? That’s way too complex!

(Bridge)
Ban the freckles! Ban the curls!
Ban every book that empowers the world!
Let’s teach them to fear, to shame, to obey,
So they won’t ever question the rules we display.

(Verse 3)
Now the real threats? They get a free pass,
Like billionaires buying up all of the gas.
But freckles and kindness? That’s crossing the line,
We need kids insecure to keep power in line!

(Chorus - Big Finish)
🔥 Freckleface Strawberry is coming for you! 🔥
She’s toppling nations with kindness—it’s true!
If we don’t stop her, the children might see,
That the real enemy’s not self-esteem!

(Outro - Spoken Word)
So burn all the books, keep the war machine tight,
And let’s all pretend that we’re winning the fight.
But deep down inside, we all know what’s true—
Freckleface Strawberry’s too powerful for you!