The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight

They’re the gang that couldn’t shoot straight, Can’t even lock a file crate...

[Verse 1]
They came ridin’ into town on horses borrowed from a theme park,
With cowboy boots and business suits and flashlights in the dark.
One had a crown made outta foil, the others followed blind,
Droppin’ memos marked “Top Secret” in a dusty DC wind behind.

[Chorus]
🎶 They’re the gang that couldn’t shoot straight,
Can’t even lock a file crate.
Talkin’ war plans on an app that teens use for a date.
They shout about the deep state, but they can't find the gate—
Oh Lord, protect us all from the gang that couldn’t shoot straight. 🎶

[Verse 2]
One’s got a Bible in one hand and a subpoena in the other,
One swore an oath, then helped a mob come after his own brother.
They say they're tough on crime while dodgin’ every charge,
It’s a clown car coup attempt led by a crook at large.

[Bridge]
And if you speak the truth, well, they call you fake news,
They’re busy banning books while they're leaking all our moves.
They talk like they're the law, but they break it on repeat—
If irony were justice, they’d be six feet deep in heat.

[Chorus]
🎶 Yeah, the gang that couldn’t shoot straight,
Got lost inside the police state.
Claim they're for the people while they legislate hate.
They try to cancel freedom, call corruption fate—
Democracy's in danger from the gang that couldn’t shoot straight. 🎶

[Verse 3]
Now they're makin' up invasions just to jail a few migrants,
Sayin’ Trump can play judge and jury—skip the courts in silence.
Writ of habeas? Ancient stuff! Who needs it when you're king?
They're rewriting the Constitution while Fox News lets ‘em sing.

[Final Chorus]
🎶 So here’s to the gang that couldn’t shoot straight,
History’s gonna annotate—
How a grifter's gang of misfits tried to legislate their fate.
But this ain’t over yet, folks, it’s not too late—
Let’s vote ‘em out and laugh ‘em off,
That gang that couldn’t shoot straight. 🎶

[Outro]
They came ridin’ in all swagger… but they’re leavin’ under oath,
With burner phones, bad alibis, and loyalty by growth.
We’ll hang their wanted posters in the halls of civic fate—
Right next to “Never Again” and “We The People” at the gate.