The ego development of a young child is to view their things as an extension of themselves, so it is not even selfish in the same way as it would be for an adult. It is developmentally appropriate. We do teach them not to be cruel. I remember my daughter telling me how a classmate had stuck her tongue out at her and another friend when I…
The ego development of a young child is to view their things as an extension of themselves, so it is not even selfish in the same way as it would be for an adult. It is developmentally appropriate. We do teach them not to be cruel. I remember my daughter telling me how a classmate had stuck her tongue out at her and another friend when I picked her up from nursery school when she was three. I asked her why she thought that was, and she told me that it was because she and a friend would not let this girl play with them. I told her, "I guess she showed you how she felt about that." My daughter understood that the sticking the tongue out was not the problem it was her exclusion of the child that was. My daughter is now one of the kindest, most inclusive people. When she was young and would tell me about a problem with a child, I would tell her a story that would include her and the child in it, with an explanation of the child's behavior in it. So, when I would pick her up from her pre-school, she would tell me some problem that had happened, and then say, "tell me a story." This I would do, where I would then talk about her and the other child in a story way, even with "once upon a time... " since young children understand this as a beginning to the story. Unfortunately Trump seems stuck in this little child who did not get their needs met warp, that has him as an "enfant terrible." Perhaps, if he has dimensia, he will grow only worse.
Linda, I LOVE how you helped your daughter understand the complex, intersubjective world of human behavior without moralizing about "right and wrong." I'm guessing that she felt understood and accepted by her mom...the most important aspect if we want children to develop capacities for empathy with self and others. I love the "tell me a story" framework. I'd love it if you'd write some "tell me a story" picture books for parents to read with their toddlers and young kids. It would be a great model for parents and a great source of compassion for the slings and arrows of painful interactions that children go through almost daily. "Once upon a time..." :)
The ego development of a young child is to view their things as an extension of themselves, so it is not even selfish in the same way as it would be for an adult. It is developmentally appropriate. We do teach them not to be cruel. I remember my daughter telling me how a classmate had stuck her tongue out at her and another friend when I picked her up from nursery school when she was three. I asked her why she thought that was, and she told me that it was because she and a friend would not let this girl play with them. I told her, "I guess she showed you how she felt about that." My daughter understood that the sticking the tongue out was not the problem it was her exclusion of the child that was. My daughter is now one of the kindest, most inclusive people. When she was young and would tell me about a problem with a child, I would tell her a story that would include her and the child in it, with an explanation of the child's behavior in it. So, when I would pick her up from her pre-school, she would tell me some problem that had happened, and then say, "tell me a story." This I would do, where I would then talk about her and the other child in a story way, even with "once upon a time... " since young children understand this as a beginning to the story. Unfortunately Trump seems stuck in this little child who did not get their needs met warp, that has him as an "enfant terrible." Perhaps, if he has dimensia, he will grow only worse.
Linda, I LOVE how you helped your daughter understand the complex, intersubjective world of human behavior without moralizing about "right and wrong." I'm guessing that she felt understood and accepted by her mom...the most important aspect if we want children to develop capacities for empathy with self and others. I love the "tell me a story" framework. I'd love it if you'd write some "tell me a story" picture books for parents to read with their toddlers and young kids. It would be a great model for parents and a great source of compassion for the slings and arrows of painful interactions that children go through almost daily. "Once upon a time..." :)
Thank you Madeline. I had not thought of picture books. It is a great idea.