I respectfully disagree with the abuse part. I work with people, including African American men (not directly tho) who are in recovery. Clarence had (translation: has) a drinking problem. All of the men I work with or who's stories I have heard have been abused physically, emotionally and most, if not all, sexually, as children. If you r…
I respectfully disagree with the abuse part. I work with people, including African American men (not directly tho) who are in recovery. Clarence had (translation: has) a drinking problem. All of the men I work with or who's stories I have heard have been abused physically, emotionally and most, if not all, sexually, as children. If you read between the lines on the Frontline special and in his book, Clarence's Grandfather was an abuser and may very well have sexually assaulted Clarence. A whipping with a belt, across the buttocks by an enraged adult is abuse and for a child, that is also sexual abuse. Been there; I know. The utter feeling of terror and powerlessness would turn anyone to anger and substance abuse. As We say in recovery, 'If you'd been through what I'd been through, you'd drink too.' But also in recovery, we learn how to cope with trauma, PTSD without using substances, anger, rage. Clarence uses all three.
I agree with your comments and see the same patterns in clinical work. But it does seem dangerous to extrapolate from substance abuse to assumed history of abuse: such concluding fueled the ‘false memory’ debacle, setting back the progress we were making in confronting trauma, and adding to the common tendency of people, often especially abuse survivors, to deny and minimize histories of abuse. I get what you’re saying & note you also saw references at least suggestive of a history of abuse, so recognize you were pulling more than one puzzle piece together.
That said, don’t people have trouble identifying what is abusive? And tend to reject, ignore and minimize many actions as abusive, when they quite obviously are both abusive, and abusive enough to cause clinically significant problems for people that will impact their identities and entire lives. I haven’t seen the Frontline (interested now though) but appreciate you clarifying for others what may have constituted abuse that others honestly don’t see. It might help a bit for others to keep in mind that when victims of abuse are children, they are much more vulnerable to the impacts - they are under others’ control and power, literally; they do not have developed brains for optimal coping; their dependence on adults puts them in a different dynamic with a perpetrator than adults; they are generally more sensitive to the effects, especially the younger we go - so we have to extend our empathy to them, not relate from a current adult perspective. Also, especially at earlier ages in development, it is almost impossible for children to attribute blame to the ‘other’, so people who have experienced early developmental abuse tend to self-blame, setting up a recurring cycle of self-blame and self-loathing, often leading to self-destructive tendencies. Especially as these feelings are baseless, it drives people crazy. Like having an ‘imposter syndrome’ but with a felt sense of much more credibility to it.
It’s been obvious that many of the characters destroying our democracy, whether leaders or lay public, are struggling with unresolved insults from early development. It’s obvious enough to be predictable.
I respectfully disagree with the abuse part. I work with people, including African American men (not directly tho) who are in recovery. Clarence had (translation: has) a drinking problem. All of the men I work with or who's stories I have heard have been abused physically, emotionally and most, if not all, sexually, as children. If you read between the lines on the Frontline special and in his book, Clarence's Grandfather was an abuser and may very well have sexually assaulted Clarence. A whipping with a belt, across the buttocks by an enraged adult is abuse and for a child, that is also sexual abuse. Been there; I know. The utter feeling of terror and powerlessness would turn anyone to anger and substance abuse. As We say in recovery, 'If you'd been through what I'd been through, you'd drink too.' But also in recovery, we learn how to cope with trauma, PTSD without using substances, anger, rage. Clarence uses all three.
I agree with your comments and see the same patterns in clinical work. But it does seem dangerous to extrapolate from substance abuse to assumed history of abuse: such concluding fueled the ‘false memory’ debacle, setting back the progress we were making in confronting trauma, and adding to the common tendency of people, often especially abuse survivors, to deny and minimize histories of abuse. I get what you’re saying & note you also saw references at least suggestive of a history of abuse, so recognize you were pulling more than one puzzle piece together.
That said, don’t people have trouble identifying what is abusive? And tend to reject, ignore and minimize many actions as abusive, when they quite obviously are both abusive, and abusive enough to cause clinically significant problems for people that will impact their identities and entire lives. I haven’t seen the Frontline (interested now though) but appreciate you clarifying for others what may have constituted abuse that others honestly don’t see. It might help a bit for others to keep in mind that when victims of abuse are children, they are much more vulnerable to the impacts - they are under others’ control and power, literally; they do not have developed brains for optimal coping; their dependence on adults puts them in a different dynamic with a perpetrator than adults; they are generally more sensitive to the effects, especially the younger we go - so we have to extend our empathy to them, not relate from a current adult perspective. Also, especially at earlier ages in development, it is almost impossible for children to attribute blame to the ‘other’, so people who have experienced early developmental abuse tend to self-blame, setting up a recurring cycle of self-blame and self-loathing, often leading to self-destructive tendencies. Especially as these feelings are baseless, it drives people crazy. Like having an ‘imposter syndrome’ but with a felt sense of much more credibility to it.
It’s been obvious that many of the characters destroying our democracy, whether leaders or lay public, are struggling with unresolved insults from early development. It’s obvious enough to be predictable.