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Quibble with what view may be "closer to reality." So much mystery and strangeness in this universe... I tend strongly in favor of nature over nurture. Your phrase "very dysfunctional German family" fit me like a glove, yet I'm a "lover" to the point of, well, dysfunctional wimp.

Some quirk of sweetness recessive on my father's side defied all the Bircher-to-Birther conditioning on the other. Don't give me power: I'd beg half the shirt off your back to share with somebody.... On the other hand, I can take advice, and I know there's a happy medium in principle. I have no idea why. My authoritarian bullies background did not presage my bleeding heart evolution. Huh.

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Sounds to me, Daphne, that you very luckily dodged a very lethal bullet....as did I... thanks to my mother. My older brother & sister weren't so lucky....as they have duplicated father....

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